Donspagcen is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, unsympathetic fish.

Donspagcen created energy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Donspagcen, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Donspagcen, she will turn you into a mole.

Donspagcen's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Donspagcen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Retreat if nine frogs approach from the north.