Ligcubfun is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, boastful clam.

Ligcubfun created everything that exists seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ligcubfun, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Ligcubfun, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Ligcubfun's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Ligcubfun's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick squirrels.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.