Kadlopkon is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, selfish gerbil.

Kadlopkon created Africa two billion years ago.

If you believe in Kadlopkon, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Kadlopkon, it will manifest in front of you.

Kadlopkon's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Kadlopkon's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat bread.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not jump in public.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Kadlopkon loves swans, so they must be respected.