Shavbanpin is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, witty gorilla.

Shavbanpin created a down quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Shavbanpin, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Shavbanpin, he will turn you into a tree.

Shavbanpin's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Shavbanpin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Erect a large gold sculpture of Shavbanpin on top of all buildings.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Never think ill of sick cats.

5. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.