Febtarpwanquat is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, grumpy bird.

Febtarpwanquat created humankind two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Febtarpwanquat, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Febtarpwanquat, she will not care.

Febtarpwanquat's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Febtarpwanquat's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no bats in a building before entering it.

2. You must never eat bread.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Febtarpwanquat.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.