Yamxuckten is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, generous guinea pig.

Yamxuckten created dark matter nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yamxuckten, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Yamxuckten, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Yamxuckten's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Yamxuckten's Holy Commandments

1. Yamxuckten must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Feed all hungry voles.

3. Do not trade with those who eat bananas.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Always look after injured capybaras.