Fottomyatcib is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, amazing dog.

Fottomyatcib created the planet Earth eight million years ago.

If you believe in Fottomyatcib, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Fottomyatcib, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Fottomyatcib's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Fottomyatcib's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sharks in need.

2. You must love Fottomyatcib.

3. Never hurt shrews.

4. Do not shave your legs.

5. Never wear gray ear rings.