Kimgofviddogwaddoggum Mablegdim is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, impressive gnu.

Kimgofviddogwaddoggum Mablegdim created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kimgofviddogwaddoggum Mablegdim, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Kimgofviddogwaddoggum Mablegdim, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Kimgofviddogwaddoggum Mablegdim's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Kimgofviddogwaddoggum Mablegdim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. You must pray to Kimgofviddogwaddoggum Mablegdim six times a day.

4. Hide if nine monkeys approach from the east.

5. Hide from brown badgers for they are unholy.