Rotmilmiffab is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, selfish aardvark.

Rotmilmiffab created time and space nine million years ago.

If you believe in Rotmilmiffab, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Rotmilmiffab, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Rotmilmiffab's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Rotmilmiffab's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear white.

2. Never wear pink trousers.

3. Great tits are not to be trusted.

4. Rotmilmiffab loves whales, so they must be respected.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.