Arparthog is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, calm lobster.

Arparthog created an electron three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arparthog, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Arparthog, she will turn you into a rat.

Arparthog's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Arparthog's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not kill mites.