Vonnarlgom is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, duplicitous giraffe.

Vonnarlgom created humanity four billion years ago.

If you believe in Vonnarlgom, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Vonnarlgom, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Vonnarlgom's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Vonnarlgom's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Vonnarlgom on top of all buildings.

2. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.