Baprakbeg is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, cheerful hippopotamus.

Baprakbeg created the Sombrero Galaxy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Baprakbeg, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Baprakbeg, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Baprakbeg's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Baprakbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not wear magenta clothing.

3. Always help foxes in need.

4. Baprakbeg loves turtles, so they must be respected.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.