Dossomloop is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, benevolent spider.

Dossomloop created the solar system two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dossomloop, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Dossomloop, he will turn you into a puffin.

Dossomloop's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Dossomloop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Ants are not to be trusted.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Dossomloop.

4. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.

5. Always help doves.