Vantonwod is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, fast gerbil.

Vantonwod created bats four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vantonwod, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Vantonwod, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Vantonwod's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Vantonwod's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

2. Never talk about gravity.

3. Never eat limes.

4. Ducks are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Always stare at clouds.