Limortvab is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, benevolent zebra.

Limortvab created the planet Mars three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Limortvab, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Limortvab, he will turn you into a dog.

Limortvab's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Limortvab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about moons.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Limortvab.

3. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

4. Limortvab loves ducks, so they must be honoured.

5. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.