Kanpitquill is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, able hamster.

Kanpitquill created the planet Mars eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kanpitquill, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Kanpitquill, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Kanpitquill's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Kanpitquill's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Kanpitquill must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never look at black holes.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.