Arparnkam Tipfidpib is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, fussy wren.

Arparnkam Tipfidpib created Mount Everest seven million years ago.

If you believe in Arparnkam Tipfidpib, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Arparnkam Tipfidpib, he will turn you into a dog.

Arparnkam Tipfidpib's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Arparnkam Tipfidpib's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing near badgers.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Respect your elders.