Cidyattstan Fonjabhin is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, unsympathetic elephant.

Cidyattstan Fonjabhin created a bottom quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cidyattstan Fonjabhin, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Cidyattstan Fonjabhin, she will not invite you to parties.

Cidyattstan Fonjabhin's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Cidyattstan Fonjabhin's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never talk about nematodes.

3. Do not wear gold on your body.

4. Never mention geese.

5. Do not hurt ants.