Cutfetmeg is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, cheerful squirrel.

Cutfetmeg created the world two billion years ago.

If you believe in Cutfetmeg, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Cutfetmeg, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Cutfetmeg's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Cutfetmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if three doves approach from the west.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never write about gravity.

4. Run away if six swans approach from the south.

5. You must pray to Cutfetmeg four times a day.