Zedpagleg Yattstangov is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, annoying hydra.

Zedpagleg Yattstangov created parasitic wasps nine million years ago.

If you believe in Zedpagleg Yattstangov, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Zedpagleg Yattstangov, he will try to impress you with trees.

Zedpagleg Yattstangov's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Zedpagleg Yattstangov's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into turquoise rooms.

2. Never write about moons.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Do not take Zedpagleg Yattstangov's name in vain.

5. Do not speak about bananas.