Artvedkop is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, ill-tempered gnu.

Artvedkop created bats five million years ago.

If you believe in Artvedkop, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Artvedkop, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Artvedkop's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Artvedkop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never laugh near monkeys.