Von is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, tiresome goose.

Von created tapeworms five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Von, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Von, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Von's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Von's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about galaxies.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Worship no other gods but Von.