Metbessbugcud is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, omniscient goblin.

Metbessbugcud created an up quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Metbessbugcud, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Metbessbugcud, she will turn you into a dog.

Metbessbugcud's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Metbessbugcud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

2. Never sing in the presence of moths.

3. Do not wear titanium on your body.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.