Gessbadhun is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, passionate spider.

Gessbadhun created life three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gessbadhun, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gessbadhun, he will ignore you.

Gessbadhun's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Gessbadhun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear copper on your body.

2. Swans are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not bounce in public.

4. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

5. Never talk about planets.