Nartquillduss is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, self-confident skunk.

Nartquillduss created the world eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Nartquillduss, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Nartquillduss, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Nartquillduss' most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Nartquillduss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never talk about nematodes.

3. Do not wear iron on your body.

4. Never go into green rooms.

5. Never think about cell theory.