Podbifjandit is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, idiotic bird.

Podbifjandit created the universe seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Podbifjandit, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Podbifjandit, she will torture you forever.

Podbifjandit's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Podbifjandit's Holy Commandments

1. Put Podbifjandit first in all things.

2. Never write about asteroids.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Fast once a month.