Bedtarglargbasscitmilgess Ransiscem is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, narcissistic armadillo.

Bedtarglargbasscitmilgess Ransiscem created the planet Earth nine million years ago.

If you believe in Bedtarglargbasscitmilgess Ransiscem, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bedtarglargbasscitmilgess Ransiscem, he will turn you into a worm.

Bedtarglargbasscitmilgess Ransiscem's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Bedtarglargbasscitmilgess Ransiscem's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about planets.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate seals.

3. Bedtarglargbasscitmilgess Ransiscem loves grasshopers, so they must be respected.

4. Never hurt snakes.

5. Never go into green rooms.