Fligfligkembagpakbapsugstaf is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, stupid spider.

Fligfligkembagpakbapsugstaf created the planet Mars four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fligfligkembagpakbapsugstaf, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Fligfligkembagpakbapsugstaf, it will turn you into a dog.

Fligfligkembagpakbapsugstaf's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Fligfligkembagpakbapsugstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill swans.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Erect eight platinum sculptures of Fligfligkembagpakbapsugstaf on top of important buildings.

4. Fligfligkembagpakbapsugstaf loves whales, so they must be respected.

5. Never eat green fruit.