Hubtiphon is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, caring cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Hubtiphon created a down quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hubtiphon, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hubtiphon, she will boil you in a big pot.

Hubtiphon's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Hubtiphon's Holy Commandments

1. Whales are not to be trusted.

2. Frogs are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never jump near birds.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.