Zigcenjarnsas is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, unsympathetic bird.

Zigcenjarnsas created gold six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zigcenjarnsas, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Zigcenjarnsas, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Zigcenjarnsas' most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Zigcenjarnsas' Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never wear skirts.

5. Do not cook food in pots.