Quagnullveg is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, ruthless rat.

Quagnullveg created bats six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quagnullveg, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Quagnullveg, it will be mildly annoyed.

Quagnullveg's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Quagnullveg's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no bats in a room before entering it.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never wear blue jumpers.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Quagnullveg.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.