Cemlagqueegmabxinartnurl is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, proud whale.

Cemlagqueegmabxinartnurl created carbon eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Cemlagqueegmabxinartnurl, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Cemlagqueegmabxinartnurl, it will think nothing of it.

Cemlagqueegmabxinartnurl's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Cemlagqueegmabxinartnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never paint your hands pink.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Cemlagqueegmabxinartnurl.

5. Never sit near pigs.