Gepjontif is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, passionate mongoose.

Gepjontif created the Tadpole Galaxy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gepjontif, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Gepjontif, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Gepjontif's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Gepjontif's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Put Gepjontif first in all things.

3. Always help turtles in need.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate birds.