Gebcinbon is a god.

It takes the form of a large, overgenerous narwhal.

Gebcinbon created a top quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gebcinbon, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Gebcinbon, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Gebcinbon's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Gebcinbon's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Always make sure there are no frogs in a room before entering it.

3. Do not speak about strawberries.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Gebcinbon.