Nellmiphinwab is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, overgenerous cobra.

Nellmiphinwab created tapeworms eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Nellmiphinwab, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Nellmiphinwab, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Nellmiphinwab's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Nellmiphinwab's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Nellmiphinwab must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tortoises.

4. Never hurt ducks.

5. Always help hamsters.