Quillgatvolhit is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, humane spider.

Quillgatvolhit created Mount Everest four years ago.

If you believe in Quillgatvolhit, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Quillgatvolhit, she will turn you into a worm.

Quillgatvolhit's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Quillgatvolhit's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed melons to dolphins while wearing orange ear rings.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never talk about gulls.

5. Do not dye your hair fawn.