Laglatwip Vanstafgig is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, unthinking shrew.

Laglatwip Vanstafgig created the Sunflower Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Laglatwip Vanstafgig, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Laglatwip Vanstafgig, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Laglatwip Vanstafgig's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Laglatwip Vanstafgig's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never write about the weak nuclear force.