Shavjonfas Yarfemarf is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, unthoughtful salamander.

Shavjonfas Yarfemarf created the cosmos two years ago.

If you believe in Shavjonfas Yarfemarf, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Shavjonfas Yarfemarf, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Shavjonfas Yarfemarf's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Shavjonfas Yarfemarf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt frogs.

2. Voles are not to be trusted.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Shavjonfas Yarfemarf.