Quagwaplarp Cemomtdin is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, fussy sheep.

Quagwaplarp Cemomtdin created light three billion years ago.

If you believe in Quagwaplarp Cemomtdin, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Quagwaplarp Cemomtdin, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Quagwaplarp Cemomtdin's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Quagwaplarp Cemomtdin's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about planets.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Always treat tapirs with great respect.

5. Erect a large iron sculpture of Quagwaplarp Cemomtdin on top of all buildings.