Hatbotleg is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, unthinking jaguar.

Hatbotleg created carbon seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hatbotleg, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Hatbotleg, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Hatbotleg's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Hatbotleg's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

2. Always wear mauve.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

4. You must never eat apples.

5. Run away if nine mice approach from the east.