Lidbatnig is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, vain walrus.

Lidbatnig created a photon three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lidbatnig, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Lidbatnig, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Lidbatnig's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Lidbatnig's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat nuts.

2. Never sit in the presence of snails.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never wear boots.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.