Lidbatnig is a god.
She takes the form of a slim, vain
walrus.
Lidbatnig created a photon three thousand years ago.
If you believe in
Lidbatnig, she will visit you to thank you.
If you do not believe in
Lidbatnig, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.
Lidbatnig's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.
Lidbatnig's Holy Commandments1. You must never eat nuts.
2. Never sit in the presence of snails.
3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.
4. Never wear boots.
5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.