Bifvidpin is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, annoying crab.

Bifvidpin created a charm quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bifvidpin, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bifvidpin, it will cry a lot.

Bifvidpin's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Bifvidpin's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate squirrels.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Snakes are not to be trusted.

5. Always wear magenta.