Dotbemvad is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, kind fish.

Dotbemvad created the Cigar Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Dotbemvad, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Dotbemvad, she will turn you into a goat.

Dotbemvad's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Dotbemvad's Holy Commandments

1. Never run near goats.

2. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

3. Always obey Dotbemvad's priests.

4. Run away if nine manatees approach from the south.

5. Do not chop down trees.