Nurtonkgebciss is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, merciful swallow.

Nurtonkgebciss created the solar system seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nurtonkgebciss, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Nurtonkgebciss, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Nurtonkgebciss' most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Nurtonkgebciss' Holy Commandments

1. Hide from green whales for they are unholy.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never think about gravity.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Always make sure there are no pigs in a room before entering it.