Hunpancep is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, contented spider.

Hunpancep created viruses nine million years ago.

If you believe in Hunpancep, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Hunpancep, she will turn you into a mouse.

Hunpancep's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Hunpancep's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about galaxies.

2. Never talk about cell theory.

3. Horses are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Always help frogs in need.

5. Do not make images of living things.