Podnilcep is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, impressive penguin.

Podnilcep created Europe eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Podnilcep, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Podnilcep, he will turn you into a rock.

Podnilcep's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Podnilcep's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about carrots.

2. Never jump in the presence of hamsters.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.