Dobstanbet is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, grumpy crab.

Dobstanbet created the cosmos four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dobstanbet, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Dobstanbet, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Dobstanbet's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Dobstanbet's Holy Commandments

1. Erect four tin sculptures of Dobstanbet on top of important buildings.

2. Do not take Dobstanbet's name in vain.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never go into magenta rooms.