Kabnarlfum Bogfagwig is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, awesome armadillo.

Kabnarlfum Bogfagwig created the planet Jupiter two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kabnarlfum Bogfagwig, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Kabnarlfum Bogfagwig, he will have a low opinion of you.

Kabnarlfum Bogfagwig's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Kabnarlfum Bogfagwig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never look at black holes.

3. Gulls are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never play with disobedient children.