Habrigmil is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, overgenerous alligator.

Habrigmil created matter nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Habrigmil, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Habrigmil, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Habrigmil's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Habrigmil's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Dolphins are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never sing near turtles.