Cap is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, capable guinea pig.

Cap created the planet Jupiter six billion years ago.

If you believe in Cap, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Cap, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Cap's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Cap's Holy Commandments

1. Cap loves manatees, so they must be respected.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never look at asteroids.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Cap must be the most important thing in your life.